avrupa komisyonu'nda staj için motivasyon mektubu yazdım. eksiği, gediği var mı, bi' kontrol ederseniz pek sevinirim.

-couchsurfing gibi böyle bir kurum için epey gayri resmi olacak bir tecrübeden bahsetmiş olmam abes mi?
- sondan önceki paragrafta martin luther'in "i have a dream" konuşmasına gönderme yaptım. onun abes bir yanı var mı?

I have studied Translation Studies in Marmara University, Istanbul. During and after my studies, I was focused to acquire deep and comprehensive knowledge about EU and external relations. In line with my areas of interest, I took a class called "EU Terms and Concepts" about the history of EU, Turkey's relation with EU and reform processes. Then I began to work as a liaison officer in such ministerial meetings and summits as COMCEC, D-8 and IDEF.

I am also an active member of a worlwide travelling website Couchsurfing. I have voluntarily hosted more than a hundred people in my flat, and had great relations with people from different parts of the world. I have a wide experience from various social stratum of the society, from ministerial level to underpriviliged social stratum, from European culture to international culture. Therefore, I am a well-rounded opportunity for you to evaluate and hopefully accept me as one of yours into the European Commission.

As I am deeply interested in European Commission and the EU itself, I enrolled myself at various online courses from worldwide institutions mentioned in my educational background in addition to my multicultural experiences. Thanks to those courses, I got familiar with the processes in the EU and EU Institutions. That is why I am applying for this traineeship. It will enable me to enhance my knowledge on those topics, while bring a significant contribution to your team and the EC in general.

Even though I face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, as a guy sweltering with the heat of disadvantages of a poor life since his childhood, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the European dream in which individuals find security not through individual accumulation of wealth, but through connectivity, sustainable development and respect for human rights as Jeremy Rifkin pointed out in his acclaimed book.

I believe that I am highly motivated for the challenge to be your Trainee and I am eager to put in the practice all the knowledge I gained through my self motivation and effort.

 

merhaba, bu konulara yabancıyım ama sadece başka bir göz olarak okudum.

-couchsurfing mevzusu bana batmadı ama içiniz rahat etmiyorsa sadece ismini çıkarıp bu şekilde bahsetmek olur mu, yoksa bahsedince illa isim mi vermek lazım?

-gönderme de sırıtmıyor, ben beğendim.

minicik bir typo: underpriviliged

kül

Detayları mesajla ilettim.

I have a dream - tamamdır, olmuş:) Hatta 3. paragrafta It will enable diye başlayan cümleye, broaden my horizon filan böyle afili şeyler bile eklenebilir belki:) Bir de gene aynı cümlede, while'dan sonra -ing kullansanız süper olur, while bringing.

İnternette benzer mektup örneklerine de bakabilirsiniz, format vs açısından.

cymbelina
1

mobil görünümden çık