İngilizce yazdığım maili kontrol edebilecek biri var mı? (Vize için)
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Regarding Visa Application: GWF*****
For: ad soyad
Dear Sir / Madam,
I have received an email regarding the request for additional documents for my student visa application GWF****
After completing my undergraduate education in June 2019,I applied to the Study Abroad Programme of the Ministry of x and was awarded this scholarship on December 26, 2019. As can be seen in documents 1, 2 and 3, I attended an English language training course between February 1, 2020 and May 31, 2021. During this course, a scholarship was given for my living expenses by my sponsor ministry, which you can see in document 1. While attending my language course, on 10 November 2020, I received an offer from the university of x. You can see this offer in document 4. Since there was a pandemic period between June 2021 and September 2021 and due to health concerns, I rejected this offer and decided to postpone my education in UK for 1 year.
During this period, I started my master's degree in x at Yıldız Technical University on September 19, 2021 to improve myself academically. I did not write any research or thesis during my education here, I only took lessons that could be useful for me in my education in UK. As you can see in document 5, 2 days after my visa application, I wrote a disenrollment petition on the grounds that I will continue my education abroad and ended my education here. As you can see in document x, I received a tuition scholarship for graduate students only. Also, as you can see in document 6, I received an offer from University of x on February 14, 2022 from the MSc x program and I decided to take my Master's education here.
As can be seen from the sponsorship document I uploaded during the visa application, I received a full scholarship from the Ministry of x. In return for this scholarship, after completing my master's degree in the field of x, which is the field requested by my sponsor, I will return to my compulsory service in the ministry of x in Turkey and work here.
Now, I am ready to start my education at the University of x, which is regarded as one of the best schools in Europe and the world in the field of x.
I kindly requested that my pre-sessional course would start at 18 July 2022.
Kind regards
3 kez as you can see demişsin. Bence bunları sil.
to improve myself academically, bu bence gereksiz.
burs aldığını gösterir belgeyi vermedin mi, sponsorluğunu açıklamaktan daha kolay ve etkili bir çözüm.
@valkin, belgeyi yükledim tabi ama tam öğrenciliğinizi ve öğrenci olma gereksinimlerinizi karşılayıp karşılamadığınızı merak ediyoruz deyip geçmişimi açıklamamı istemişler. Korku ve endişeden her şeyi açıkladım
I am ready'i anlamadim,
baslamak icin hazirim, hersey tamam mi? I completed all issues vs.
yoksa
motivasyon olarak baslamaya hazirim gibi mi? I am eager to start
diger arkadaslar daha iyisini söyler.
best school yerine önde gelen falan yazsan daha güzel olur.
..and work here veya to work in/for X.
bu kadar ayrintili yazmana gerek yok bence, ama düzeltmek istersen diye yazdim.
Yukarıdakilere ek olarak;
“I only took lessons that could be useful for me in my education in UK”
Burada anlamsız bir yapı var. Useful for me in my education… yerine direkt ‘… could be useful for my educational objectives’ gibi bir şey daha iyi olur.
Bir de tüm UK’lerden önce the gelmeli. The United Kingdom çünkü.
En sondaki “ I kindly requested that…” yanlış.
“… request that…” olmalı.