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ingilizce şiir (kamuoyu yoklaması)
Semblance of her was not the reason of my captivity in her soul.
I became more and more into a prisoner, drowning within the whirlpoul.
Many didn't know, and many just wouldn't the,
Genesis of her being a goddess, and me becoming an everlasting worshiper
Evermore... As an evergreen grown, by the talismanic eyes of her.
(bi' sıkıntısı var mıdır? işaretlerde olsun, redaksiyonda olsun, başka bir şeyde olsun? önerisi olan?)
ps: akrostişi bozmayacak şekilde.
I became more and more into a prisoner, drowning within the whirlpoul.
Many didn't know, and many just wouldn't the,
Genesis of her being a goddess, and me becoming an everlasting worshiper
Evermore... As an evergreen grown, by the talismanic eyes of her.
(bi' sıkıntısı var mıdır? işaretlerde olsun, redaksiyonda olsun, başka bir şeyde olsun? önerisi olan?)
ps: akrostişi bozmayacak şekilde.
spelling de birkaç ufak hata var.
"whirlpool" ve "worshipper" olması lazım.
belki bi de 3. dizede "the" dan sonraki virgülü "wouldn't" ve "the" arasına alsan daha doğru olur.
"whirlpool" ve "worshipper" olması lazım.
belki bi de 3. dizede "the" dan sonraki virgülü "wouldn't" ve "the" arasına alsan daha doğru olur.
- sarsakdahi
(27.12.09 12:33:43)
Semblance of her was not the reason of my captivity in her soul.
I became more and more into a prisoner, drowning within the whirlpool.
Many didn't know, and many just wouldn't, the
Genesis of her being a goddess, and me becoming an everlasting worshipper
Evermore... As an evergreen grown, by the talismanic eyes of her.
oldu efenim.
I became more and more into a prisoner, drowning within the whirlpool.
Many didn't know, and many just wouldn't, the
Genesis of her being a goddess, and me becoming an everlasting worshipper
Evermore... As an evergreen grown, by the talismanic eyes of her.
oldu efenim.
- erobur
(27.12.09 12:38:40)
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